Going Around in Circles in Yangon, Myanmar

When we decided to go on this trip, I put Myanmar, which used to be called Burma, up at the top of the list. I had a feeling that it would be the Cuba of Southeast Asia, for good or ill, unsullied by outside forces. And for good or ill, it is.

We were joined at the Bangkok airport by our dear friends Chris and Marianne for the trip to Yangon (which used to be called Rangoon). We stayed at a guest house called Bamboo Place Yangon, which is run by a woman named Nwezin, who may be the face of the Burmese revival. She was extremely hard-working, infinitely friendly, and she’s making a go of her new venture. It can’t be easy. For one thing, her family lives on the premises, which is a lovely colonial-era building, but it appears that most of the rooms are set aside for the guests. One evening I wandered through the front room (where the guests hang out during the day) and found her young daughters spread out on the floor under a mosquito net, hunkered down for the night. Other relatives appeared to be bivoaking in the hallway. Can you imagine waiting for a bunch of foreigners to get out of your sleeping area before being able to go to sleep? Me neither.

In the face of these challenges, the service was gracious and amazingly accommodating. One night we didn’t feel like going out, so Nwezin prepared a traditional Burmese dinner for us, which included a deeply satisfying chicken curry, some fried noodles, watercress salad, sautéed green beans, and a lovely clear soup of some kind. The meal came to ten dollars for the four of us. For breakfast, which was included, you could have eggs and toast or a traditional breakfast of spicy noodles from the Shan region. In my twilight years, when what’s left of my mind turns to paste, I will still remember these noodles. I attempted to extract the recipe from our hostess, but the best she could offer was that I should fry some chicken in onion, and add spices, noodles, and soy sauce. Oh, well. This is what the internet is for.

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An absolutely delicious home-cooked Burmese dinner.

Yangon is a fascinating place. Myanmar was a longtime British colony, with Yangon as one of its major cities. As often happens, the colonizers built buildings that reminded them of home, whether or not those they’re particularly suited to the climate. Many of these buildings are still standing, if only barely. Some look like they’re being held together by mold and mildew. Others are starting to be rehabilitated and are being turned into, among other things, art galleries and hipster bars. One night, Chris, Marianne, Janine and I did a four-part Yangon happy hour pub crawl, where the evening’s bar tab for four people might have topped out at about sixty bucks. Take THAT, Brooklyn.

I love tourist attractions for the catastrophically lazy traveler. This is why I love the hop on hop off buses that wend their way through most major cities. For twenty bucks or so, you get on some relatively nice open top double decker bus and you drive past most of the sights worth seeing. It’s not cheap, but it’s remarkably efficient. You get a lay of the land and you can pretend that you saw a city. Oh, and you don’t have to move a muscle. It’s like the choo choo train that circles Disneyland. It’s fun and it’s efficient and I refuse to apologize for my sloth.

The hop on, hop off bus has not made it to Yangon yet, thank goodness. (Neither, for that matter, has McDonald’s or Starbuck’s, but that won’t hold.) For one thing, it would never get anywhere. In the three or so years since Burma opened up to the west, one of the major changes has been the influx of cheap used cars from Japan. This has made driving in Yangon a challenge for three important reasons – 1) the city roads were not constructed with a lot of traffic in mind; 2) there are still very few traffic lights and other means to control how traffic moves; and 3) since very few people owned cars until now, nobody really knows how to drive. Can you imagine setting many thousands of student drivers out on the roads with no traffic lights? That’s what it’s like to drive in Yangon. We regularly came to an impasse at an unregulated intersection in which the cabdriver and some other driver would struggle to determine how to proceed. It was entertaining, if a little unnerving.

Thus, one of the great ways to take in the city is the Yangon Circular Railway.

(A brief digression. The train was recommended to us by our friends Robert and Ana, who have lived abroad for many years, and in Yangon for the past year. Our kids were friends in pre-school in DC, and we haven’t seen them since they left the States in 2003. On our first night in town, they invited us over for dinner, and it was just fabulous to see them again. It reminded me that travel can be a great way to meet new people but that it’s also a great way to re-connect with people who no longer live nearby. While I’m at it, we hadn’t seen Chris and Marianne for five years because they’ve been living, of all places, in Yemen, the Republic of Georgia, Thailand, and now Pakistan. Thankfully, they were available to join us in Yangon, which has been such fun. Reconnecting with them has been a real highlight of our journey.)

Anyway, back to the railway. By contrast to the hop on, hop off bus, the circular railway has real passengers who are living their lives like normal people. (Tourists, on the other hand, live their lives like abnormal people. They walk around in circles, get in people’s way, and they dress funny.) The railway was built by the British more than a half a century ago, and it’s the lifeline for the city’s regular folk. I have a sneaking suspicion that with the exception of advertisements for cell phones and the like on the walls of the trains, a time traveler would not notice much difference over the years. The train putts along at about thirty miles per hour and circumnavigates the city in three hours or so. It passes though the center of town and then works its way out to the northern suburbs, although you won’t spot any soccer moms or minivans out there.

I was eager to give it a go. We found the funky old station, bought our tickets, and climbed aboard for our journey on a rolling metal time machine. We chugged through the city, which is gritty, dirty, and desperately lacking in modern infrastructure. After about a half hour, the train became a cargo vessel and filled with goods from the market, headed, one would assume, for the city. Soon after we were in the countryside, where farmers hip deep in flooded fields harvested watercress, which is a staple in the Burmese diet. There were rice fields, tea fields, and thatched roof shacks.

Passengers on the Yangon Circular Railway loaded down with goods from the vegetable market.

Passengers on the Yangon Circular Railway loaded down with goods from the vegetable market.

It was a hot, sweaty, stinky ride, but endlessly fascinating, and you couldn’t beat the price – a ticket on the circular railway will run you a grand total of two hundred Burmese kyat, or nineteen American cents, or 6.33 cents per hour. I read that there are plans afoot to modernize the railway, which I’m sure will make it more efficient but a lot less charming. I hope they find a way to keep it affordable for the people who rely on it to move their goods from place to place. Without this creaky, pokey, rolling wheelbarrow, life for lot of people would be even harder than it is.

One thing that is decidedly not poor is the Shwedagon Pagoda. This temple, which dates back in one form or another to about 600 BCE, is said to hold relics of the four Buddhas that attained enlightenment, and is an important Buddhist pilgrimage site. It is also just a bewildering collection of priceless religious art and architecture. The pagoda is covered in gold – not just gold leaf, but actual plates of gold. The top of the pagoda, known as the umbrella, consists of half a ton of gold alone. I was just as interested in the pilgrims themselves. There are monks of all ages, including children who look five or six years old. There was a little boy in elaborate dress who was being carried by one man and shaded from the sun by another. It was The Last Emperor, Myanmar edition. Then there were people who may have turned up for some peace and quiet – I saw more than a few people curled up in a cool, quiet corner of a prayer hall, snoozing away.

I must say, the little feller looks rather unexcited about being carried around and shaded.

I must say, the little feller looks rather unexcited about being carried around and shaded.

This is a fascinating city. It’s more or less as I imagined it – it evokes every bit of the faded glory I had expected, although it’s always worth remembering that a certain amount of that so-called “glory” was colonial. I was also reminded that, while we are always eager to wander among the stalls in the marketplace and take the decidedly un-spiffy circular railroad, we also don’t turn up our noses at a good ‘ol pub crawl in refurbished hipster havens surrounded by scrums of expats. We want screamy fast wifi to go with our ancient culture. Can a country upgrade itself enough to attract tourists and foreign investment without selling its soul? I certainly hope so.

Yangon has a long way to go. The infrastructure needs to be built almost from scratch. Most businesses have diesel generators to deal with the regular blackouts. Untreated sewage runs in trenches next to the sidewalk. There was no trash collection to speak of that I could find. And through it all people are busting their bippies to make a living and a life, and doing it with remarkably good humor. I wish them very well.

A bucolic Thai beach, full of unsmiling, tattooed, European bodybuilders.

After several joyful days in Bangkok, we decamped for the beach. The water was lovely, the hotel was charming, and the guests were, how shall I put it? Weird.

We spent four days at this charming little beach resort on Koh Samui, a perfectly good island off the east coast of Thailand in the South China Sea, but I am left scratching my head about why so many strange people are attracted to this place. For starters, there seemed to be a disproportionate number of Eastern European body builders. There was one couple, covered head to toe with tattoos, who kept their kickboxing apparatus on the bench in front of their room. We never actually saw them beat each other up, but that seems to be their hobby. They’re both ripped up like, well, Herr and Frau Universe. And they never seemed to speak. Herr Universe would wade out into the water and put his head down and stand there for twenty or thirty minutes at a time, just pacing back and forth in the water. Then he’d hop onto a small floating pier and pace back and forth some more. Either he was thinking very deep thoughts or he was searching in vain for a contact lens.

On the plane on the way back to Bangkok there was another fellow who was bigger and broader than Herr Universe, with even more tattoos, if that’s possible. (Speaking of tattoos, on the beach the other day, we saw an older gentleman with a massive tattoo on his back of an extremely well-endowed naked man. I tell you, this place is just plain weird.)

Another woman who might have been Turkish or Russian walked around the property photographing or taking video of herself with her selfie stick almost constantly. Then there was the other unsmiling bearded gentleman with the prohibition-era haircut (y’know, shaved on the sides but the top flops downs over it) who sat in the restaurant staring ahead (or occasionally at his ipad), his leg in constant motion, as if he were stomping on imaginary cockroaches. Every so often his female companion would sit down next to him, but he seldom seemed to notice. There were a few European-looking gentlemen of a certain age accompanied by what appeared to be non-European women not of a certain age. There was another guy with a big Smith Brothers beard and a man bun who looked like he should be pouring cocktails in Bushwick. He never smiled either, or made any obvious expression. And then there were our roommates. Well, they might as well have been our roommates because the walls provided shockingly little noise reduction. The fellow never spoke. His significant other had a Midwestern accent out of the movie Fargo, which we were easily able to identify as she carried on an extended Skype call late one night. The next morning she was rather less articulate, but no less noisy. Happily, they were quick about it.

The sunbathing rituals of the resort’s inmates were impressive. Each morning, round about 8ish, the guests would scope out their chaises, put a towel or some other item that marked the property as theirs, and then have a quick breakfast before returning to their claimed territory, where they would proceed to crispify themselves for the rest of the day. Many of them turned purple before our very eyes. If I had some extra money I’d invest it in German skin cancer clinics.

A perfectly nice beach resort in Thailand.

A perfectly nice beach resort in Thailand.

And as bizarre as this sullen, territorial, tonsorially unusual assembly of Teutonic sun worshipers was, the staff was warm, welcoming and gracious. I would not be surprised to learn that they hire zen masters to work at Koh Samui resorts, just because normal human beings would surely go stark raving mad.

Despite the cultural gulfs between us and our fellow guests, Janine, our friend John (who joined us at the beach) and I had an embarrassingly good time. We kept ourselves quite busy by moving with alacrity from the restaurant to the beach to the pool, never pausing long enough to seem lazy. And we were quite responsible in our appetites as well, almost never drinking beer before noon. One day we even ventured into what passes for town. Why, you may ask, would we waste the opportunity to take advantage of the myriad cultural opportunities that Thailand has to offer in favor of a prosaic trip to the beach with a menagerie of semi-disgruntled European melanomics? Well, John was cold after a cruel East Coast winter, and after seven months of busy, culturally thoughtful travel, we had hit the sweet spot between tired and lazy that cried out for a restorative trip to the beach. I’m happy to report that it appears to have worked.

Salty, Sweet, Sour, and Stinky – Let’s Hear it for Bangkok!

Bangkok is one of the great food cities in the world. On what seems like every street corner, you will find some little food stand in which somebody is tossing together some outrageously delicious morsel for what you would spend on a pack of gum back home. It’s true that there’s some small chance that some of it could kill you, but chances are that it won’t. What’s not to like?

I’ll admit that they dish up some mighty strange stuff on the street. You will see all manner of dried fishes, parts of animals in which you can neither identify the part nor the animal, and heaven knows what else. And then there’s the question of hygiene. It’s not like the board of health is hanging big letter grades right there on the sidewalk. On the other hand, they cook the stuff right in front of your eyes and crank those woks up as high as they go, likely killing the little beasties that might send you to the rail. Now that I think of it, the one time I got really sick when traveling (excepting, of course, the pristine yakitori place that served me raw chicken on purpose) was in a pub in England. That little raw chicken episode probably just toughened me up for the tasty streets of Bangkok, right? Right!

I was ready to tackle the great cuisine of Thailand. So how many of these monuments to glorious street food did we patronize? Er, um, none.

It’s shameful, I know, but before my membership in the gluttony hall of fame is revoked, I am here to tell you that we still ate really well in Bangkok, even if I fall a notch or two in the esteem of the great world eaters.

Yummy looking street food that we didn't eat.

Yummy looking street food that we didn’t eat.

Thailand was not originally on our itinerary. We were going to pass through here on our way to Burma, but when our dear friend (and faithful blog reader) John told us that he  wanted to meet us in Thailand for his birthday, we jumped at the chance. We’ve been here before, but this trip through Bangkok has reminded me that there’s something to be said for revisiting a place that you’ve already enjoyed. For one thing, we were last here almost twenty years ago, and while I remember liking the city for all its frenzied charms, the memories were fuzzy little blots at best. Why not give Thailand another go?

And I’m glad I did! I’d forgotten how much I like it here. In the dim recesses of what’s left of my mind, I know we had fun here once upon a time, but now I remember why. Bangkok is one of those places that’s just funky enough to be endlessly fascinating while still being easy to travel in. The food is crazy good. You can get an hour long foot massage for eight bucks. There’s now a pretty convenient elevated train, which, while it doesn’t go everywhere, still gets you around. Taxis are really cheap and the cab drivers are usually friendly, honest, and mellow (although one cab driver risked all our lives in what seemed to be an attempt to get us to our destination quickly, even though we’d have been quite happy if he’d taken his time). There are lots of really cool temples and other cultural things, but to be honest, I’d be happy if there was nothing more than food and foot rubs.

Let’s begin with my shameful admission that we didn’t eat street food. On our first night in town, I thought we’d keep things simple and stay close to our apartment. I scoped out a place that seemed almost too good to be true, and I’m happy to report that it wasn’t. It’s a restaurant called Soul Food Manhanakorn and it is run, improbably, by a former American food writer named Jarett Wrisley. I am not qualified to say whether having an American food writer open a Thai restaurant qualifies as heresy or not, but I frankly don’t care. It serves craft beer, whimsical cocktails, and takes street food to the next level. They use as many organic ingredients as they can, and like many other places we seem to wander into, the joint would probably feel pretty at home in Brooklyn or the Mission, and I consider that a compliment.

Onto the food…over two meals (yet again, we found a place that we loved and went back – sue me) we had: little wraps of butter lettuce and pork jowl into which you could add an assortment of Thai yummy things like toasted peanuts, fried shallots, tamarind jam, and other jazz like that; a fiery, limey pomelo salad with prawns that I will dream about for years; Issan chicken wings; a classic green papaya salad topped with deep fried chicken skin (!!); that classic wide noodle called pad see ew topped with smoked pork jowl; deep fried okra; and a vegetarian red curry that would make you forget that there’s a big pile of pork jowl sitting in the kitchen waiting to be eaten.

Pomelo salad and fried okra with a crazy good sweet spicy dipping sauce.

Fried okra with a crazy good sweet spicy dipping sauce (L), and pomelo salad (R).

This food was everything I love about good Thai food, which is so hard to find in the states – it finds the perfect balance between spicy, sour, and sweet, and gives you that funky goodness that fish sauce brings to the party. Thai restaurants aren’t known for their service, but when I mentioned to the hostess that we had been there twice in four days, she tried to buy us a round of drinks and dessert. Sadly, we had run completely out of steam by that point, but it’s the kind of little touch that makes you love a place down to your toenails.

Soul Food Mahataran - a fun, funky joint that would be at home in Brooklyn or the Mission.

Soul Food Mahanakorn – a fun, funky joint that would be at home in Brooklyn or the Mission. Don’t worry that it looks empty – they were just about to get hit with a big second turn.

We weren’t done with this fancy food. For John’s birthday, we thought it would be fun to see just how much luxury we could squeeze out of Bangkok. The last time we were here we stayed in a guest house in the backpacker ghetto off Khao San Road. It’s more or less the Bourbon Street of Bangkok, with souvenir shops, cheap restaurants, and (I am told) clubs that appeal to baser sensibilities, let’s just say.

This time, we could afford a slightly elevated experience. We made a reservation at a place called the Siam Hotel, which is several miles up the Chao Praya river, the thrumming, exciting waterway that splits the city, and whose waterbuses also provide cheap sightseeing transportation options. If you make a dinner reservation at the Siam Hotel, however, they send a boat to pick you up at the main dock downtown. We scurried down to the dock at the appointed time and there came the boat, which whisked us half an hour upriver to a glorious little boutique hotel and restaurant made out of old teak timbers. We had cocktails on the deck overlooking the river, and a lovely dinner, but the food could have been lousy and we’d still have been thrilled.

Our sunset boat ride on the Chao Praya on the way to the Siam Hotel.

Our sunset boat ride on the Chao Praya on the way to the Siam Hotel.

So, no, I haven’t been eating squid testicles or lamb’s eyeballs or fish paste that was fermented in some ninety year old guy’s underpants. We aren’t staying in a backpacker’s flophouse, just a good old-fashioned airbnb apartment (it’s not too fancy, mind you, but it’s a far cry from the actual cage we once slept in at a Kuala Lumpur “guest house” in the 90s). No, we’re older and wiser and once in a while it’s nice to shoot the moon, even if shooting the moon only costs you what an impromptu midweek dinner in the Village does. Here’s to middle age!

Next time – I finally get to take a cooking class, we get thrown out of a bar, and I throw in a little gratuitous sightseeing for those of you who are sick of reading about food.